green tea

green tea keeps you young.
green tea keeps you fresh.
green tea keeps you up.
yea up... and here you are, writing recklessly.

wide awake at 2am spurting terrible english. practically dying inside from wanting to sleep. and needless to say, keeping the mosquito population in this room fat and well-fed. perhaps it would be more sensible to stay in bed with a book but the lights are burnt out...

my teaching affair has stemmed into a full time occupation. (my god). and painting is a full time preoccupation. the problem with this arrangement is that the preoccupation results in weak operation because the occupation has taken up much of the time.
i'm starting to wonder if my priorities in life are a little bit in disarray...

but balance is a tricky things. either you've too much time and lie around like stagnant water waiting for some frog to jump in and jazz it up, or you're running around like a buzzing bee. and by the time you look back, as the girl in the cafe put in in par-dela des nuages, you'd lost your soul.

ok. enough of rants. time to give sleep another go.

i love long intimate emails. they make you stop and reassess your reality.

it rained all afternoon. every time it rains i sit at the kitchen door and stare at the black metal gate, watching the curtain of water from the balcony drop to the gray concrete yard. everything seems incredibly beautiful and sad and real.

real.

the outlines darken and the insides melt away, and everything seems to carry a weight they don't usually have.

every now and then i feel reality's slipping away...
someone touch me. i need it.