New York

I climbed into bed at 11pm, following Mo and Pan's schedule, hoping to lead a healthier lifestyle but failed. i'm wide awake and a million thoughts stream through my mind demanding to be released in some form.

New York. I made it back to NY Saturday afternoon, 15 minutes earlier than scheduled - a remarkable feat for Amtrak. I arrived NY hot and cranky from exhaustion and hunger and the smell of the subway system went straight up my nose making me cringe. The people, the wonderful variety of people that I had missed so much all of a sudden seemed to take up way too much space, their sweaty tired faces all spelled exhaustion. No, I did not arrive NY with bliss. I was uncertain. Going from the flatness of the mid-west deserts and the hills of southern farmland, I was apprehensive.
I craved Thai food the minute I touched the platform and headed straight to Arhan Thai, the only Thai restaurant I ever go to, on 36 Ave, LIC. My luggages from a backpack and a shoulder bag exploded into 3 shoulder bags plus backpack after stopping by at T's place. While those bags contain my future joys I was not happy trudging down the streets so heavily ladened. Nevertheless I made it to Arhan and feasted. Food made me feel a whole lot more cheerful.

Being in Mo and Verman's place, which is now Mo and Pan's place felt a bit strange at first. The layout of the rooms are somewhat different and the dynamic certainly changed a great deal. I miss Verman's pink pajamas and white bandannas.

I was tired but somehow ended up going out with Susie. We met up, as usual, at Union Square where people sat on the steps and stare at wholefoods, and walked to this fancy ramenya on 4th Ave. We had to wait 20 minutes and all the time I kept thinking I wasn't sure about fancy ramen cos ramen wasn't supposed to be fancy. Ramen was supposed to be cheap workers/students' food, served in bright casual relaxed settings. It wasn't supposed to be eaten under dim red lights and loud ambiance lounge music. And people certainly don't dress up to go eat ramen. It was all too strange.
The food turned out pretty good. The first couple spoonfulls especially. The broth was thick and reminded me of the tonkotsu ramen in Teramachi. But halfway through it got a bit too much for me. Susie, however, ate with gust, slurping down the last strand of ramen and pretty much all of the broth. We sat in the dim light and stared at our empty bowls and chopsticks for a good 5 minutes before hitting the road once more, down St. Marks into the heart of East Village.

Pretty girls of all colors walked down the streets their earrings reflecting the street lights, their legs and shoulders bare to the wind. And the tattoo stores lined both sides, coaxing your eyes with dragon outlines, claiming to be a new art. It was nearing 11pm but the restaurants were still full and everyone wanted to sit out on the sidewalks to talk about life and lust. The streets was so busy you had to dart back and forth between people to get through sometimes. We turned on 1st Ave and then continued east on 6th st, passing the rows and rows of zagat rated Indian restaurants. The price was reasonable and the food on their menus all look good, there was even one man outside a restaurant who spoke of its goodness to all who'd listen, inviting us to come in but we shook our head, sorry we'd eaten. We headed on to Ave A and then B and then back again to A and finally decided to go into this bar with live music - Sidewalk, and sat there for a while drinking our beers. The band played loud but not too good. Some songs sounded ok but when the lead singer bellowed into the mic they didn't sell condoms in the condom machine a good 5 times we decided it was enough and headed out.

Mo and Pan decided to head to St. Marks after Mira's housewarming thing instead of going straight home, so we met up with them at Kenka's. It was late so there were no lines and they let us sit at the table without much trouble though the waitress seemed mildly annoyed. Kenka plays strange Japanese prewar music and Susie kept looking around saying wow wow wow.

It hit me as we headed for the station that you can walk for nights and nights in this city and never really know all the bars and restaurants. It's so goddam big and choked full with activities. I'd barely been back for a day and already I was rolling. We danced yatta on the streets and the boys turned their heads to look. They probably thought we were drunk but what do I care. It was all of a sudden so much fun. and so sad at the same time and I couldn't really explain why.

And I remember that time with Eiko when we looked at some elegant lady stroll by and asked Yeah, how do I be like that??. But in the end I always monkey around and it doesn't look pretty but it's so much fun and for that moment I don't give a damn. and in NY, really, no one gives a damn what you do, how you look and what madness you carry.