"Do not be angry. Try to understand. When you understand you will not be angry."
-Jonas Mekas
Having met Jonas three times and at all times failed to say anything more than a hello sir and a good bye. finally this time, my fourth time, gathering all my courage I spoke to him. And he kindly spoke back. A great man. a wise man. a simple and beautiful being. and me, a nobody, yet he talked to me pleasantly and told stories. stories which even with my terrible memory I remember each word. It is amazing how certain people, simply with their presence, they fill you up to the brim.
I told him I've read I had nowhere to go and that I liked it. very much. Actually, i love it. but love is over used this days and so I avoided it. And he said he would give me a copy. Even now I cannot believe these words. even now they seem impossible to believe. An entire copy from the man himself. A copy of a book I'd tried so hard to find but couldn't. A copy that had inspired me to fill up my journal more meaningfully and to start updating this blog more often. I hope he does not forget...
I have very fortunately enjoyed the company of very inspiring people the past 2 years. The decision to stay an extra night to hang out with Eiko on Thursday was worth every minute.
"Space is never empty. Time is never even."
Such beautiful lines. such delicious movements that warp time and consciousness. Talking to her I feel my world expands and that there is hope. even if blindly. even if unchallenged and untested. hope not for myself. but hope that yes there is room to believe. that art brings something to the world. that beauty, true beauty exists. that i too, want to notice, understand and create such. success or failure is a separate and unrelated issue. unimportant at this moment.
i am very full these days. very full.
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Saturday, May 24
It is a strange feeling to be writing from ST lab again. The keyboards are horrendously dirty and stiff from years of abuse. The boys at the table on the left are playing their online warcraft or another one of those online games.
So it has been a year since my own graduation. a year is not a long time but school has already become a strange concept. Middletown is so out of the way and wesleyan sits in its own protective bubble. a good place for experiments and academic ambitions but i have to say i enjoy the dirt of the street better. i'd loved this place dearly however, very dearly indeed. Life has been good and kind in many ways.
Keiji always looks happy and surprised to see me although i come back so often. Halfway through our conversation someone from the class of '88 came in to look for the pottery studio only to be disappointed that it's gone. I realized, for the first time, Keiji's office was the firing stove and that the walls were still covered with glaze and burnt marks.
Keiji is an image of the traditional artist who pursues his aesthetics, works persistently on his own and not care about the world too much. He said it wasn't important to know too much about all the art movements out there. It's better to just simply do it. I'm too curious to not want to know why and how people came up with what they did and what that language means. but a good part of me also really doesn't want to be bothered. why care. you make things because you're trying to find a way to communicate to yourself, to the world the confusion that you cannot otherwise express. you make things that relate to yourself, your history or the histories that you want to experience. but yes, in the end, you make things because you cannot not make things. it's simply that.
it is good, though, to see as much as I can of the art available in ny, to see the many ways the world can be, the many ways to appreciate, the many ways to tell.
So it has been a year since my own graduation. a year is not a long time but school has already become a strange concept. Middletown is so out of the way and wesleyan sits in its own protective bubble. a good place for experiments and academic ambitions but i have to say i enjoy the dirt of the street better. i'd loved this place dearly however, very dearly indeed. Life has been good and kind in many ways.
Keiji always looks happy and surprised to see me although i come back so often. Halfway through our conversation someone from the class of '88 came in to look for the pottery studio only to be disappointed that it's gone. I realized, for the first time, Keiji's office was the firing stove and that the walls were still covered with glaze and burnt marks.
Keiji is an image of the traditional artist who pursues his aesthetics, works persistently on his own and not care about the world too much. He said it wasn't important to know too much about all the art movements out there. It's better to just simply do it. I'm too curious to not want to know why and how people came up with what they did and what that language means. but a good part of me also really doesn't want to be bothered. why care. you make things because you're trying to find a way to communicate to yourself, to the world the confusion that you cannot otherwise express. you make things that relate to yourself, your history or the histories that you want to experience. but yes, in the end, you make things because you cannot not make things. it's simply that.
it is good, though, to see as much as I can of the art available in ny, to see the many ways the world can be, the many ways to appreciate, the many ways to tell.
Friday, May 23
Stayed at the Rail until 10 today and read a little about Robert Rauschenberg. Would have liked to stay and finish reading the book but had to leave for Linde's birthday bash. I am looking forward to moving into the office. It is such a wonderful place to read and write, Jed has gotten a lot of work done the past week apparently. I want to swallow as much as possible before leaving this city. I'm so behind, so so behind. I am struck every single day at how little I know about anything out there...
Phong surprisingly has been keeping up with the healthy lifestyle. no smoking. no drinking. 2 cups of coffee a day. and home made sandwiches. amazing. yes, now i believe he meant it - the human will.
Walter came in and basically spent the afternoon advising me on what kind of camcorder to get. i really want one and I think will get one before leaving. i also want a projector. it is insane judging on how much stuffs i already have but long term wise it is necessary, especially the camcorder.
Lu came in after office hour to use the computer. i sometimes have problem talking to her still, especially on issues relating to China. it is very hard to talk. she becomes very defensive. but yes, she works hard, tries hard. tries very hard in fact. it is something i respect so we get along fine. we're not made of the same material so it is not a natural click and run kind of relationship but strangely, sometimes i look at her and i feel a wave of endearment. she tries so hard.
Linde's party was quite nice. But to be honest, it is hard, meeting people you sort of know but aren't really friends with. it takes so much effort to make conversations. and the conversations are so repetitive and superficial. it's like pressing a recorded tape and watch yourself repeat through the whole introduction dialogue again and again, knowing you're probably not going to see them or become any better friends after this. it drives me crazy - this kind of interaction. Thank god Jo and Chesley are there.
Phong surprisingly has been keeping up with the healthy lifestyle. no smoking. no drinking. 2 cups of coffee a day. and home made sandwiches. amazing. yes, now i believe he meant it - the human will.
Walter came in and basically spent the afternoon advising me on what kind of camcorder to get. i really want one and I think will get one before leaving. i also want a projector. it is insane judging on how much stuffs i already have but long term wise it is necessary, especially the camcorder.
Lu came in after office hour to use the computer. i sometimes have problem talking to her still, especially on issues relating to China. it is very hard to talk. she becomes very defensive. but yes, she works hard, tries hard. tries very hard in fact. it is something i respect so we get along fine. we're not made of the same material so it is not a natural click and run kind of relationship but strangely, sometimes i look at her and i feel a wave of endearment. she tries so hard.
Linde's party was quite nice. But to be honest, it is hard, meeting people you sort of know but aren't really friends with. it takes so much effort to make conversations. and the conversations are so repetitive and superficial. it's like pressing a recorded tape and watch yourself repeat through the whole introduction dialogue again and again, knowing you're probably not going to see them or become any better friends after this. it drives me crazy - this kind of interaction. Thank god Jo and Chesley are there.
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