Sunday, May 11

Mo walked up the subway steps and I followed closely behind. She stopped and checked the schedule on the screen once more before proceeding to the main lobby. She passed the flower store, turned and examined herself in the displaying mirrors, flashed a smile and continued on. This forms her weekday routine - her path from Astoria to the subway, to Grand Central, to White Plains. i'm sure it happens all the time, but it does feel a bit peculiar to be conscious that you are walking another's well-treaded path.

Late Sunday morning, off-peak, but the train was crowded. People with newspapers, people with flowers. people heading home for mother's day. we, too, are holding flowers. i don't remember celebrating this particular day in Vietnam. not that i remember many specialized days to be honest. but who would, unless they see tons of signs on display in the stores, winking "mother's day" - "buy something." I rather prefer coming home on random days with flowers. it's easier on the mind and more true to the heart. a rupture of feelings, an occasion when my heart swells with the thought of you.

New Haven was in full bloom. dogwood cover their branches with white and pink, decking the sidewalks like millions of butterflies gathering for a ball. Jim picked us up from the station and when he pulled into the parkway of the red Hadlerian house it felt like coming home.

We made dumplings. hundreds of them from scratch. i rolled the dough, a long strip that could wrap nothing. a square piece. a small piece. an oversized piece. finally a round decent one! the desire to improve glued me to me seat for 2 hours. and indeed they got better. then the shoulder got tired and more people arrived. so i sneaked to the back yard and talked to the lilacs. they smelled achingly sweet and i kept sniffing. in in in all those sweetness of spring. this time next year i will see you no longer. smell you no more but in my memories.

Mo took a good picture of me sitting on the back porch. the sun was shining. shining. and it was so green. and sweet. ahh... if love could bloom this brightly.